You’ll Laugh (or Cry) When You Read These Famous Quotations About Retirement. As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes, inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life.
Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list:
Funny Retirement Quotes
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. – Abe Lemons
65 tips for a healthy, wealthy and happy retirement.
Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. – Robert Benchley
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. – George Burns
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles. – Doug Larson
When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. – Chi Chi Rodriguez
When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. – R.C. Sherriff
I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. – Steve Young
A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job. – Ella Harris
You have to put off being young until you can retire. – Author Unknown
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. – Will Rogers
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. – Kitty O’Neill Collins
I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. – Leonard Cohen
I need to retire from retirement. – Sandra Day O’Connor
Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way. – Betty White
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Facts about financial success later in life!
Something pretty… that’s just the surface. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you don’t worry about it. – Jeanne Moreau
It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone. – Andy Rooney
I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. – Hugh Hefner
Often when you are at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else. – Fred Rogers
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. – Oscar Wilde
The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. – Unknown
I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. – Bruce Grocott
Sometimes it’s hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. – Terri Guillemets
Tips for retirement from the science of happiness
In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. – Mason Cooley
It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone. – Andy Rooney
Inspirational Retirement Quotes
Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. – Oliver Wendell Holmes
Often when you are at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else. – Fred Rogers
The best is yet to come! – Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman
Jump in! The water is fine! – Anonymous
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I’m possible! – Audrey Hepburn
Retirement is not impossible, get ahead with these tips to get ready!
Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. – J. Lubbock
You have to put off being young until you can retire. – Unknown
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. – Will Rogers
120 ideas for what to do in retirement
Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes. – Zig Ziglar
Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. – Jim Rohn
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. – Kitty O’Neill Collins
I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. – Leonard Cohen
If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough. – Oprah Winfrey
Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If you feel like there’s something out there that you’re supposed to be doing, it you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. – Wanda Skyes
Just do it! – Nike
Quotes About Money and Retirement Planning
It’s not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. – Robert Kiyosaki
Know what you own, and know why you own it. – Peter Lynch
Do you have an investment policy statement?
You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. – Dave Ramsey
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If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed.
– Edmund Burke
Many folks think they aren’t good at earning money, when what they don’t know is how to use it. – Frank A. Clark
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. – Oscar Wilde
Explore 18 retirement income strategies
A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. – Yogi Berra
Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. – Ayn Rand
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The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money. – Anonymous
What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement?
Financial peace isn’t the acquisition of stuff. It’s learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. You can’t win until you do this. – Dave Ramsey
Explore 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings big!
Every time you borrow money, you’re robbing your future self. – Nathan W. Morris
Achieve a debt free retirement!
Fear no more the heat o the sun, nor the furious winter’s rages. Thou thy worldly task hast done, home art gone and taken thy wages. – William Shakespeare
It is better to live rich than to die rich. – Samuel Johnson
Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. – Jonathan Clements
Money is something you got to make in case you don’t die. – Max Asnas
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. – Woody Allen
I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left. – Voltaire
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The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income. – George Foreman
18 retirement income strategies
People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one. – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. – Cato
For many people, being asked to solve their own retirement savings problems is like being asked to build their own cars. – Richard Thaler
Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying. – Mario Puzo
You can be young without money but you can’t be old without it. – Tennessee Williams
Don’t look for the need in the haystack. Just buy the haystack. – John Bogle
John Bogle’s best advice to retirees.
Quotes About Enjoying Life and Leisure
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. – Jim Bishop
Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. – Harry Vardon
There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. – Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. – William Shakespeare
Choose a work that you love and you won’t have to work another day. – Confucius
Volunteering after retirement
Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway. – Unknown
Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness. – Robert Rivers
4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement
If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. – Henry Ford
Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different. – Patrick Foley
Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you haven’t done in years. – Steven Price
What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. – Henry David Thoreau
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There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Some call it retirement. I call it bliss. – Betty Sullivan
Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. – Soren Kierkegaard
To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. – Bertrand Russell
Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to. – Susan Cain
Quotes About Work (Enjoying Work Instead of Retirement)
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. – Scott Elledge
Retired is being twice tired, I’ve thought first tired of working, then tired of not. – Richard Armour
The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. – Author Unknown
Learn how age discrimination can threaten your future
To retire is to die. – Pablo Casals
Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. – Simone De Beauvoir
The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work. – Gilbert K. Chesterton
Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. We can no longer afford to scrap-pile people. – Maggie Kuhn
Sooner or later I’m going to die, but I’m not going to retire. – Margaret Mead
A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age. – Author Unknown
“To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth.” – Pearl S. Buck
14 reasons why retirement jobs are the best!
Don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark. – Samuel Johnson
In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire. – Charles Francis Adams
The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. – Vince Lombardi
Retirement is the ugliest word in the language. – Ernest Hemingway
Choose a work that you love and you won’t have to work another day. – Confucius
There’s no retirement for an artist, it’s your way of living so there’s no end to it. – Henry Moore
Musicians don’t retire; they stop when there’s no more music in them. – Louis Armstrong
Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. – Mason Cooley
Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. – James M. Barrie
A man ought to work. That’s what he is here for. That’s how he contributes to the welfare of the community. – W. Somerset Maugham
Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. – Voltaire
Reverse your retirement
I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. – Hugh Hefner
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. – Unknown
If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work. – William Shakespeare
Age to me means nothing. I can’t get old; I’m working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you’re working, you stay young. – George Burns
I need to retire from retirement. – Sandra Day O’Connor
Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way. – Betty White
I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. – Hugh Hefner
Quotes About Aging
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Mark Twain
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. – John Barrymore
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there. – George Burns
People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. – George Burns
You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. – George Bernard Shaw
The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it. – Doris Day
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was? – Satchel Paige
Get 65 more quotes on aging here…
Quotes About Retirement Planning
A goal without a plan is just a wish. – Antoine de Saint Exupery
In preparing for battle, I have found that plans are useless, but planning indispensable. – Dwight D. Eisenhower
Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. – Alan Lakein
7 ways to bring your future into the present
Preparation for old age should begin not later than one’s teens. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement. – Arthur E. Morgan
Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try. Before you retire, save. Before you die, give. – William A. Ward
Always have a plan, and belive in it. Nothing happens by accident. – Chuck Knox
Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. – Fitzhugh Dodson
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The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. – Source Unknown
God’s retirement plan is out of this world. – Source Unknown
