Need a quote for a retirement card, a speech, or a quick laugh with a coworker? Below you’ll find over 100 retirement quotes sorted by what you actually need: short one-liners, funny lines, heartfelt words, and quotes about money, work, and aging.
- Short retirement quotes and sayings
- Funny retirement quotes and one-liners
- Inspirational and heartwarming retirement quotes
- Retirement quotes for cards, speeches, and parties
- Quotes about money and retirement planning
- Quotes about enjoying life and leisure
- Quotes about work and knowing when to retire
- Quotes about aging
If one of these gets you thinking about your own retirement timeline, savings, or income, the Boldin Planner can help you turn that spark into real numbers.
Short Retirement Quotes and Sayings
Need something brief? These short retirement quotes work for a card, a text, or a quick toast. Each one lands in a single line, no context required.
“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons
“To retire is to die.” – Pablo Casals
“I need to retire from retirement.” – Sandra Day O’Connor
“Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.” – Ernest Hemingway
“God’s retirement plan is out of this world.” – Source Unknown
“A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.” – Yogi Berra
“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” – Oscar Wilde
“Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.” – Betty White
“Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance.” – Mason Cooley
Funny Retirement Quotes and One-Liners
Retirement humor works best when it lands on something specific. These quotes and one-liners poke fun at watches, golf, and the myth of a relaxing retirement.
“Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.” – Robert Benchley
“Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65, I still had pimples.” – George Burns
“If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.” – Doug Larson
“When a man retires, his wife gets twice as much husband for half as much money.” – Chi Chi Rodriguez
“When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.” – R.C. Sherriff
“I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off.” – Steve Young
“A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.” – Ella Harris
“Something pretty… that’s just the surface. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you don’t worry about it.” – Jeanne Moreau
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” – Andy Rooney
“I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave.” – Hugh Hefner
“The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement.” – Unknown
“I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.” – Bruce Grocott
“Sometimes it’s hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment.” – Terri Guillemets
“In retirement, I look for days off from my days off.” – Mason Cooley
“Retired is being twice tired, I’ve thought: first tired of working, then tired of not.” – Richard Armour
Inspirational and Heartwarming Retirement Quotes
Some retirement quotes aim for a laugh. These aim for the heart, and cover new beginnings, second chances, and what comes next.
“Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
“Often when you are at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” – Fred Rogers
“The best is yet to come!” – Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman
“Jump in! The water is fine!” – Anonymous
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I’m possible!” – Audrey Hepburn
“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” – J. Lubbock
“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” – Will Rogers
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“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.” – Zig Ziglar
“Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.” – Jim Rohn
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” – Kitty O’Neill Collins
“I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot.” – Leonard Cohen
“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey
“Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“If you feel like there’s something out there that you’re supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.” – Wanda Sykes
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Retirement Quotes for Cards, Speeches, and Retirement Parties
Writing a card or a toast? These quotes read well out loud and work whether you’re celebrating a coworker, a parent, or a friend.
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
“The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.” – Author Unknown
“There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Some call it retirement. I call it bliss.” – Betty Sullivan
“Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway.” – Unknown
“Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different.” – Patrick Foley
A short, well-chosen line works better than a long one when you’re speaking in front of a room. Pick one that fits the tone you want, whether that’s a laugh or a genuine send-off.
Quotes About Money and Retirement Planning
These quotes cut through the noise around saving, spending, and planning. A few come from people who built real wealth and know the tradeoffs firsthand.
“It’s not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for.” – Robert Kiyosaki
“Know what you own, and know why you own it.” – Peter Lynch
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“You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you.” – Dave Ramsey
“If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed.” – Edmund Burke
“Many folks think they aren’t good at earning money, when what they don’t know is how to use it.” – Frank A. Clark
“It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.” – Oscar Wilde
“Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.” – Ayn Rand
“The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.” – Anonymous
What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement?
“Financial peace isn’t the acquisition of stuff. It’s learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. You can’t win until you do this.” – Dave Ramsey
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“Every time you borrow money, you’re robbing your future self.” – Nathan W. Morris
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“Fear no more the heat o’ the sun, nor the furious winter’s rages. Thou thy worldly task hast done, home art gone and taken thy wages.” – William Shakespeare
“It is better to live rich than to die rich.” – Samuel Johnson
“Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” – Jonathan Clements
“Money is something you got to make in case you don’t die.” – Max Asnas
“Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.” – Woody Allen
“I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.” – Voltaire
“The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.” – George Foreman
“People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses.” – Cato
“For many people, being asked to solve their own retirement savings problems is like being asked to build their own cars.” – Richard Thaler
“Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying.” – Mario Puzo
“You can be young without money but you can’t be old without it.” – Tennessee Williams
“Don’t look for the needle in the haystack. Just buy the haystack.” – John Bogle
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“In preparing for battle, I have found that plans are useless, but planning indispensable.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.” – Alan Lakein
“Preparation for old age should begin not later than one’s teens. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement.” – Arthur E. Morgan
“Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try. Before you retire, save. Before you die, give.” – William A. Ward
“Always have a plan, and believe in it. Nothing happens by accident.” – Chuck Knox
“Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination.” – Fitzhugh Dodson
A quote can spark the thought. Turning it into a number takes a plan. If one of these gets you thinking about your own retirement math, the Boldin Retirement Planner can help you run it.
Quotes About Enjoying Life and Leisure
Retirement isn’t just about money. These quotes capture what to do with the time you’ve earned back.
“Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.” – Jim Bishop
“Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.” – Harry Vardon
“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” – Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
“Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.” – William Shakespeare
“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Often attributed to Confucius
“Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness.” – Robert Rivers
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“If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.” – Henry Ford
“Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you haven’t done in years.” – Steven Price
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” – Henry David Thoreau
“Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good.” – Søren Kierkegaard
“To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization, and at present very few people have reached this level.” – Bertrand Russell
“Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.” – Susan Cain
Quotes About Work and Knowing When to Retire
Not everyone wants to retire the moment they can. These quotes speak to people who find meaning in work and aren’t ready to stop.
“It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.” – Scott Elledge
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“Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap.” – Simone De Beauvoir
“The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work.” – Gilbert K. Chesterton
“Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. We can no longer afford to scrap-pile people.” – Maggie Kuhn
“Sooner or later I’m going to die, but I’m not going to retire.” – Margaret Mead
“A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.” – Author Unknown
“To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth.” – Pearl S. Buck
“Don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark.” – Samuel Johnson
“In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire.” – Charles Francis Adams
“The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.” – Vince Lombardi
“There’s no retirement for an artist, it’s your way of living so there’s no end to it.” – Henry Moore
“Musicians don’t retire; they stop when there’s no more music in them.” – Louis Armstrong
“Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.” – James M. Barrie
“A man ought to work. That’s what he is here for. That’s how he contributes to the welfare of the community.” – W. Somerset Maugham
“Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.” – Voltaire
“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.” – Unknown
“If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work.” – William Shakespeare
“Age to me means nothing. I can’t get old; I’m working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you’re working, you stay young.” – George Burns
Quotes About Aging
A few quotes on aging and getting older, with a link to a much bigger collection if you want more.
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” – George Burns
“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” – George Bernard Shaw
“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?” – Satchel Paige
Browse 65 more funny and inspirational quotes about getting older here.
FAQ: Retirement Quotes People Ask About
What’s a good short retirement quote for a card?
“To retire is to die” by Pablo Casals or “God’s retirement plan is out of this world” are retirement quotes that both work well in a card. Short lines like these read fast and still land with weight, which is exactly what a card needs.
What’s a funny retirement quote for a coworker?
Abe Lemons had a great retirement quote for a coworker: “The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” It’s short, familiar, and works in a card, an email, or a toast without any risk of landing wrong.
What did George Burns say about retirement?
George Burns lived to 100 and turned aging into his best material. His most quoted line: “Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.” He also joked, “Age to me means nothing. I can’t get old; I’m working,” and kept performing into his nineties to prove it.
What’s a good retirement quote for a woman retiring?
Most retirement quotes work regardless of gender. Betty Sullivan’s line, “There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Some call it retirement. I call it bliss,” reads especially well in a card.
What’s the most famous retirement quote?
George Burns and Betty White are two of the most quoted voices on retirement, thanks to their sharp, memorable one-liners. Burns’s “still had pimples” joke and White’s “not in my vocabulary” line both get cited often.
