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June 18, 2020 • 10 minutes
These funny quotes about getting older and quotes about aging should serve as inspiration for enjoying this remarkable time of life.
If a positive outlook on aging adds years to your life, a longer life is something to plan for. The Boldin Planner lets you model what an extra 5, 10, or 15 years actually costs — helping you figure out exactly what your retirement looks like and how to make the most of it.
A one-line joke about getting older is easy to remember and easy to send. These short quotes work in a text, a card, or a toast.
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” Kitty O’Neill Collins
“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?” Satchel Paige
“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” Bob Hope
“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” Ogden Nash
“You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” George Burns
“Old age isn’t so bad if you consider the alternative.” Maurice Chevalier
“Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.” Andy Rooney
“We don’t grow older, we grow riper.” Pablo Picasso
“Time may be a great healer, but it is a lousy beautician.” Anonymous
“Some guy said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing rock n roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger.'” Cher
“I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.” George Burns
“If I had known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” Eubie Blake
“You’re never too old to become younger.” Mae West
“Old age ain’t no place for sissies.” Bette Davis
Some of the funniest lines about aging poke fun at a specific birthday or milestone. Here are the ones people quote most.
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” George Burns
“The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.” Doris Day
“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” Ann Landers
“Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.” Bernard Baruch
“Your 40s are good. Your 50s are great. Your 60s are fab. And 70 is f*@king awesome!” Helen Mirren
“Once you hit fifty, your body sends you a letter: ‘We’ve had a great run. But from this point forward, everything is going to hurt.'” Wanda Sykes
A few of these quotes go further than a clever line. They tell you what to do with the years ahead.
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Anonymous
“Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.” Theodore Roosevelt
“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” Sophia Loren
“Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born.” Albert Einstein
“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” George Bernard Shaw
“As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, do it.” Margaret Deland
“For the unlearned, old age is winter; for the learned, it is the season of the harvest.” Hasidic saying
“Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” Arthur Wing Pinero
“Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” Franz Kafka
“He who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition, you and age are equally a burden.” Plato
“Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.” Edward Stanley
“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.” Henry Ford
“Age appears to be best in four things: old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.” Francis Bacon
These quotes take a step back from the punchline. They look at aging from a different angle, and that shift in view is its own kind of comfort.
“Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” Eleanor Roosevelt
“But one loses, as one grows older, something of the lightness of one’s dreams; one begins to take life up in both hands, and to care more for the fruit than the flower, and that is no great loss perhaps.” W.B. Yeats
“The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.” Robert Frost
“There are six myths about old age: that it’s a disease, a disaster. That we are mindless. That we are sexless. That we are useless. That we are powerless. That we are all alike.” Maggie Kuhn
“A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” John Barrymore
“The wiser mind mourns less for what age takes away than what it leaves behind.” William Wordsworth
“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.” David Bowie
“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” Betty Friedan
“The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.” Frank Lloyd Wright
“I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward.” May Sarton
“Of all the self-fulfilling prophecies in our culture, the assumption that aging means decline and poor health is probably the deadliest.” Marilyn Ferguson
“The trouble is, when a number, your age, becomes your identity, you’ve given away your power to choose your future.” Richard J. Leider
“Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!” Ingrid Bergman
“My physical body may be less efficient and less beautiful in old age. But God has given me an enormous compensation: my mind is richer, my soul is broader, and my wisdom is at a peak. I am so happy with the riches of my advanced peak age that, contrary to Faust, I would not wish to return to youth.” Robert Muller
“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.” Robert Browning
“It takes a long time to become young.” Pablo Picasso
“The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.” Oscar Wilde
These quotes treat growing older as a gift. Actors, writers, and philosophers make the case in their own words.
“My face carries all my memories. Why would I erase them?” Diane Von Furstenberg
“I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.” Rita Rudner
“Aging gracefully is about no heavy makeup, and not too much powder because it gets into the wrinkles, and, you know, to not get turtle eyelids and to not try to look young.” Iris Apfel
“There is nothing more aging than misery.” Michelle Pfeiffer
“Something pretty… that’s just the surface. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you don’t worry about it.” Jeanne Moreau
“My advice: Don’t waste so much time worrying about your skin or your weight. Develop what you put your hands on in the world.” Meryl Streep
“Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.” Coco Chanel
“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.” Mark Twain
A birthday card needs a line that lands. These quotes fit right on the inside cover.
“People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.” George Burns
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” Larry Lorenzoni
“There is still no cure for the common birthday.” John Glenn
“Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.” Chili Davis
“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” Bob Hope
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” Lucille Ball
“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never remembers her age.” Robert Frost
“Age isn’t a number, it’s an attitude.“
It turns out there’s real research behind that line.
A 2002 study led by Becca Levy at Yale, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, followed 660 adults aged 50 and older for up to 23 years. People who held more positive views of their own aging lived about seven and a half years longer than those who didn’t, a gap that held up even after accounting for age, health, and income. The effect was larger than the gains linked to low blood pressure or regular exercise.
Levy’s later research at the Yale School of Public Health found that shifting how people think about aging can measurably improve health outcomes well past age 65, not just survival odds.
These quotes are great. Having a plan for the years ahead is better.
The Boldin Planner makes it easy to figure out your path to a secure future, with a do-it-yourself system built to be personalized around your own numbers, not a generic estimate.
Pablo Picasso offers one of the best quotes about getting older: “We don’t grow older, we grow riper.” Short quotes like this work well in a text, a card, or a quick social post, since they land in one line without needing context.
Ann Landers wrote one of the sharpest quotes about aging: “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” Quotes tied to a specific age work best on a birthday card for that exact milestone.
Diane Von Furstenberg has one of the best quotes about aging gracefully: “My face carries all my memories. Why would I erase them?” Quotes about aging gracefully tend to reframe wrinkles and gray hair as evidence of a life well lived.
The most famous quote about getting old might be “Age isn’t a number, it’s an attitude.” Research backs it up: a 2002 Yale study found people with a positive outlook on aging lived seven and a half years longer than those with a negative one.
John Glenn wrote one of the best quotes about getting older: “There is still no cure for the common birthday.” Short, funny lines like this fit inside a card without crowding out your own message.
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